The Common Mistake People Make When Divorcing – and How to Avoid It
Divorce is often described as one of life’s most stressful experiences. Beyond the emotional toll, couples must make crucial decisions about finances, property, and childcare that can affect their futures for decades. Yet according to the first national study of public understanding of divorce in England and Wales, thousands of people are making costly mistakes—often because they simply do not know what the law actually says.
The report, co-led by Professor Emma Hitchings, a family law specialist at the University of Bristol, surveyed 20,000 members of the public. Its findings revealed a “substantial lack of knowledge” around divorce settlements, particularly in cases where couples attempt what is often called a DIY divorce—where they settle matters themselves without formal legal support.
And the most common error? Believing that assets are automatically split 50/50 when a marriage ends.
The Myth of the “Automatic 50/50 Split”
Nearly one in three people (30%) surveyed thought divorce law requires an equal division of property, pensions, and other financial assets. In reality, no such rule exists.
While English and Welsh law does recognise that longer marriages generally justify a more equal division, the courts apply discretion rather than a rigid formula. Factors such as:
- The length of the marriage
- Each spouse’s financial and non-financial contributions
- Future earning capacity
- Children’s needs
… all shape how assets and debts are ultimately divided.
Only 37% of respondents correctly understood this. That leaves a large majority of divorcing couples at risk of making financial agreements based on myths rather than legal principles.
Why DIY Divorces Are Rising
The decline of legal aid in family cases is a major factor. Since its withdrawal in 2013 (except in very limited circumstances such as domestic abuse), many couples are forced to represent themselves. Without affordable access to lawyers, they rely on:
- Online guides and forums
- Friends or family anecdotes
- Their own assumptions about “what seems fair”
Professor Hitchings noted that more couples are creating their “own solutions” for splitting finances. While this may sound empowering, she warns it can be “highly discretionary and legally difficult”. In other words, without specialist advice, couples risk entering into unfair or unenforceable agreements.
Gender Gaps in Legal Knowledge
Interestingly, the study also highlighted gender differences:
- Women were more likely to understand the law around children and custody.
- Men were more likely to understand the law around financial assets.
This imbalance may reflect traditional gender roles in households—but it also means couples could be negotiating settlements with unequal knowledge bases, creating further risk of unfair outcomes.
The Consequences of Misunderstandings
When couples rely on misconceptions, the results can be serious:
- Unfair settlements – one spouse may walk away with far less than the law would entitle them to.
- Future disputes – poorly drafted agreements often lead to further litigation, costing more in the long run.
- Hidden assets – without proper disclosure, one spouse may keep pensions, investments, or property out of the equation.
- Financial vulnerability – particularly for spouses who gave up careers to raise children and now face retirement without adequate pension provision.
Ash Patel, programme head for justice at the Nuffield Foundation, which funded the research, summed up the danger: without proper advice, couples risk “unsatisfactory and unfair financial arrangements” that may be impossible to reverse once finalised.
Why Early Legal Advice Matters
Professor Hitchings is clear: “Some form of early legal advice and information for all divorcees should be a policy priority.”
Early advice can:
- Correct misconceptions before they shape decisions.
- Help spouses understand their rights and obligations.
- Ensure financial settlements are legally binding and enforceable.
- Reduce conflict by setting realistic expectations from the start.
Even a single consultation with a solicitor can save divorcing couples from years of financial and emotional fallout.
What the Law Actually Says About Divorce Finances
To understand why misconceptions are so common, it helps to look at how financial settlements are determined under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973.
Courts must consider:
The welfare of children – housing and childcare needs come first.
Each party’s financial resources – income, property, pensions, savings, and debts.
Standard of living during the marriage – ensuring fairness post-divorce.
Contributions to the family – including homemaking and child-rearing.
Age and earning capacity – assessing ability to rebuild financially.
Length of the marriage – longer marriages usually justify closer to equal splits.
Because these are guidelines, not formulas, outcomes vary widely. That flexibility is useful for tailoring solutions—but it also fuels public misunderstanding.
Practical Steps to Avoid Costly Mistakes
If you are considering or going through divorce, here are key steps to protect yourself:
1. Don’t Assume 50/50
Even if “fairness” feels obvious, the law is more nuanced. Each case is unique.
2. Get a Financial Consent Order
Without one, informal agreements are not legally binding. Either spouse could later make claims against property, pensions, or income—even years after divorce.
3. Insist on Full Financial Disclosure
Hidden pensions or investments can be worth more than the family home. Both sides must disclose everything.
4. Seek Legal Advice Early
Even if you plan a DIY divorce, one consultation can provide clarity and peace of mind.
5. Consider Mediation
Mediators can help couples negotiate fair settlements, often more cheaply and amicably than court proceedings.
Policy Calls: Making Divorce Fairer
Both Hitchings and Patel argue the research should prompt policy change. Suggested reforms include:
- Reintroducing limited legal aid for financial issues in divorce.
- Providing standardised, government-backed information packs for divorcing couples.
- Ensuring early access to affordable legal advice clinics.
These measures could help ensure couples don’t make life-altering decisions based on myths.
Conclusion: Don’t Rely on Myths
Divorce is not simply about “signing the papers.” Financial settlements are complex, discretionary, and too important to leave to guesswork.
The study shows widespread misunderstanding—and that misunderstanding is leading to thousands of people losing out on what should rightfully be theirs.
If you are separating, remember:
- There is no automatic 50/50 split.
- Agreements must be legally binding to protect you long-term.
- Early legal advice is an investment, not a luxury.
At Parachute Law, we help clients avoid these pitfalls by providing clear, affordable advice tailored to your situation. Whether you need guidance on finances, property, or child arrangements, our solicitors are here to ensure your settlement is fair, enforceable, and future-proof.
Contact us today to discuss your options before making costly mistakes.
Related Articles:
Protect Your Future: Why a Pre-nup or Post-nup Could Be One of the Smartest Legal Steps You Take
Pre-Nups vs Post-Nups: What’s the Difference — and Why You Might Need One
