Understanding Divorce Law: Common Myths, Emotional Challenges, and Practical Advice

A candid Q&A on what really happens in divorce proceedings and how lawyers help clients move forward.

Divorce is more than a legal separation—it’s an emotional and financial turning point in a person’s life. For many, navigating the legal system during such a vulnerable time can feel overwhelming. To shed light on the realities of divorce law, we sat down with Richard, a seasoned family and matrimonial lawyer at Parachute Law, to discuss the common misconceptions, emotional hurdles, and practical strategies involved in the process.

What are the biggest myths about divorce?

Q: What are some of the most common misconceptions you encounter in divorce cases?

Richard: One of the most persistent myths is that divorce means everything gets split 50/50. That’s not always the case. English family law looks at what’s fair based on individual circumstances. That includes the needs of any children, the income and earning capacity of both parties, and the contributions each person made during the marriage. Another myth is that men always fare worse in divorce proceedings, which simply isn’t true. The law is gender-neutral—it’s about fairness.

How do you help clients manage emotional stress during divorce?

Q: Divorce can be one of the most emotionally difficult times in a person’s life. How do you support clients through it?

Richard: Emotional stress is a huge part of family law. I try to offer a calm and compassionate presence from the first consultation. People often come in feeling anxious, angry, or uncertain. The key is listening—truly listening—and then offering clear, jargon-free guidance. I also encourage clients to prioritize what matters most to them. Not everything is worth fighting over, and staying focused helps keep things moving forward constructively.

What advice do you have for people going through divorce?

Q: If someone is facing a divorce, what’s the most important piece of advice you’d give them?

Richard: Stay calm, be honest, and keep your expectations realistic. Try to remain as objective as possible and focus on the bigger picture—especially if children are involved. It’s also critical to make full financial disclosures early in the process. Trying to hide assets or being dishonest only makes things harder and more expensive. I always remind clients that the court’s goal is fairness, not punishment.

Can you walk us through the divorce process?

Q: Many people are unfamiliar with the legal steps involved in divorce. What does the process actually look like?

Richard: In England and Wales, the divorce process has become more straightforward since the introduction of “no-fault” divorce. One party starts the process by filing an application, and the other party is notified. After a 20-week reflection period, they can apply for a conditional order. Six weeks later, they can apply for the final order, which legally ends the marriage.

However, resolving financial matters and child arrangements is a separate process. Those issues can be settled through negotiation, mediation, or, if necessary, court proceedings. That’s where a solicitor plays a major role—helping structure a fair outcome that considers both legal rights and practical needs.

What’s your approach to high-conflict or emotionally charged cases?

Q: How do you handle situations involving domestic abuse or coercive control?

Richard: Sensitivity is essential in these cases. Clients need to feel safe and supported. When abuse or coercive control is involved, we take immediate steps to ensure protection—applying for non-molestation orders or occupation orders if needed. We also frame the legal applications carefully to help judges understand the full extent of the harm, especially when the abuse is psychological or subtle.

In high-conflict divorces, the goal is to de-escalate tension where possible. That might involve recommending therapy or referring to external support services. But we always maintain a firm, protective stance to advocate for the client’s well-being.

How important is communication during a divorce?

Q: You mentioned the role of clear communication. How does that factor into your practice?

Richard: It’s everything. Communication is vital not just with the client but also with the other party’s legal team, mediators, and the court. I make it a point to keep clients informed every step of the way. Uncertainty creates stress, and my job is to help minimize that by offering clarity and guidance.

Clients also need to be honest and communicative with me. I can only do my best work if I have all the relevant facts. It’s a team effort—client and solicitor working together.

What happens in amicable divorces?

Q: Not every divorce is a battle. How do you handle more cooperative cases?

Richard: That’s true—some couples genuinely want to part ways respectfully. In these cases, I often recommend alternative dispute resolution methods like mediation or collaborative law. These approaches focus on open dialogue and mutually agreed outcomes, rather than litigation.

Even in amicable cases, it’s still important to formalize agreements properly. We ensure that financial settlements are legally binding and fair, so both parties have closure and clarity moving forward.

How do you protect a client’s financial interests?

Q: Money is a major concern for most people going through divorce. How do you protect your clients’ financial futures?

Richard: Full financial disclosure is the foundation. We collect detailed information on income, assets, debts, and pensions. In complex cases—like where businesses or multiple properties are involved—we bring in experts to do valuations and ensure everything is on the table.

When necessary, I involve a specialist barrister early on. This can save time and reduce costs by streamlining negotiations. Ultimately, my goal is to secure a settlement that meets my client’s needs, both now and in the future.

What’s the most rewarding part of being a matrimonial lawyer?

Q: Your job must be challenging. What makes it worthwhile for you?

Richard: It’s incredibly rewarding to help people move forward after such a difficult chapter. When a client walks away with a fair outcome and a sense of peace, that’s a huge win. Especially in cases involving children, it’s gratifying to know that you’ve helped create a stable, healthier environment for the family’s future.

What should clients expect during their first consultation?

Q: For someone new to the process, what’s the first meeting with a divorce lawyer like?

Richard: I try to make that first consultation as reassuring as possible. Clients are often nervous or overwhelmed. I explain the legal process in plain English, answer their questions, and help them map out next steps. It’s not about pressure or legalese—it’s about making them feel heard and supported. They leave with a clearer understanding of what lies ahead.

Final Thoughts

Divorce may feel like the end of the road, but with the right legal guidance, it can also be a new beginning. As Richard emphasizes, the process doesn’t have to be combative or confusing. With empathy, clear communication, and a practical mindset, clients can emerge stronger, wiser, and ready for the next chapter of their lives.

If you're going through a divorce or supporting someone who is, remember: you don’t have to do it alone. A good family lawyer isn't just a legal representative—they’re a guide through one of life’s toughest transitions.