Courts Failing Children of Divorcees, Say Experts: A System Under Strain

 
15/07/2025
5 min read

The family court system in England and Wales is meant to protect the most vulnerable during divorce—children. Yet, legal professionals, campaigners, and families are now sounding the alarm: instead of safeguarding young lives, the courts may be causing long-term damage by being too slow, inconsistent, and ill-equipped to handle the emotional complexity of modern family breakdowns.

Each year, approximately 50,000 child arrangement cases pass through these courts. The goal is simple: determine who the child should live with, and how access to both parents will be shared. But the reality, according to a growing number of legal professionals and parents, is anything but.

“Unfit for Purpose”: Solicitor Raises Red Flag

Shalaleh Barlow, a solicitor with the Central Law Group CIC—a nonprofit civil law firm based in Chelmsford, Essex—did not mince words.

“It’s unempowered, it’s undermanned, and the quality of staff and magistrates is below par,” she said.

She clarified her concerns were not a blanket criticism of all judges, but rather a call to empower judges and courts to act with more urgency and common sense. Ms. Barlow warned the system was “at breaking point” and harming children during one of the most emotionally volatile periods in their lives: the separation of their parents.

Her concerns stem from real-life cases. The average time to settle a child arrangement case in court is now 41 weeks—a delay that can sever parent-child relationships, sometimes permanently.

Parental Alienation: A Silent Epidemic?

One of the most disturbing outcomes of these delays is the increased prevalence of parental alienation—a term used to describe behaviours where one parent attempts to damage or sever the relationship between a child and the other parent.

Research by the University of West London found that 40% of separated parents had experienced alienating behaviours from their ex-partner. These behaviours, experts warn, can inflict long-term psychological harm on children.

Janis James, CEO of Good Egg Safety, funded the study and labelled the issue “a massive public health issue, a legislative issue, and a child protection issue.”

James, who has spent seven years campaigning for recognition of alienating behaviours, said the mental health impacts were “endemic” and called on the government to take urgent action.

“I Paid the Price”: Personal Stories from Both Sides

Behind the statistics lie heartbreaking human stories.

Tom, from Hertfordshire, was alienated from his father as a child, believing the narrative that his dad had abandoned him.

“I was told my dad didn’t care… that he didn’t want anything to do with me,” he recalled.

Later in life, Tom faced the same issue again—but this time, as a father. The courts, he said, didn’t do enough to navigate the emotional landmines that surround these disputes.

“It’s toxic parents passing trauma onto their kids—and that trauma doesn’t go away,” he added.

For grandparents, too, the courts have often become a wall rather than a bridge. Tess, a grandmother from Norfolk, has not seen her grandchildren in years. She says the courts made their decision based on inaccurate information from her daughter-in-law.

“They’re called family courts… yet they seem intent on destroying families,” she said, her voice heavy with grief.

Wreaths, Protest Signs, and Tragedy

The emotional toll is not limited to the children. Simon Cobb, founder of People Against Parental Alienation (Papa), has taken a haunting approach to advocacy—laying funeral wreaths at family courts across the East of England.

One wreath bears the words “The Alienated Parent,” flanked by signs that say “Say No to the Death Penalty: Loving Your Child Is Not a Crime.”

“The system creates adversaries,” Cobb said. “One parent will lose… and sometimes lose their life.”

Indeed, there are growing concerns that the emotional devastation from court-induced alienation can lead to depression, anxiety, and in tragic cases, suicide.

The Legal Response: Acknowledging the Mess

The Ministry of Justice (MoJ) responded by stating it is “committed to improving the experiences and outcomes from family court proceedings.”

Sir Andrew McFarlane, President of the Family Division, acknowledged that parental alienation is “polarising” and difficult to adjudicate.

In December, the Family Justice Council issued new guidance on alienating behaviours, acknowledging their increasing exploitation in court as tactics during disputes. The guidance aims to strike a balance—ensuring genuine cases of emotional manipulation are recognised, while also preventing false allegations from distracting courts from addressing domestic abuse.

But even legal experts acknowledge that guidance is not enough. In the past three months alone, over 100 parents and carers reached out to the BBC to share their disillusionment with the court system.

Political Pressure Mounts

Pam Cox, Labour MP for Colchester and a member of the parliamentary Justice Select Committee, pointed to systemic underfunding as a key cause of delays.

“The family court backlog is the result of decades of neglect,” she said.

Cox called for a court innovation programme—a rethinking of how these courts operate to prioritise the needs of children and reduce trauma.

Meanwhile, the government has rolled out the Pathfinder Pilot, which reportedly halved backlogs in select areas. According to the MoJ, this model will be expanded, aiming to bring faster, more child-focused decisions across the country.

Cafcass Cautions: Alienation Claims Must Not Mask Abuse

The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass), which advises courts on children’s welfare, has evolved its stance in recent years. It warns that claims of alienation are sometimes used by abusive parents to shift the court’s focus away from their own misconduct.

“Advisers must consider whether a child’s resistance to a parent is due to past abuse,” Cafcass stated.

Their training now includes recognising when claims of alienation are themselves a form of coercive control. This careful balance—between protecting against abuse and ensuring children aren’t manipulated—makes the job of family court advisers more complex than ever.

Where Do We Go From Here?

The problems plaguing the family court system in England and Wales are deep-rooted and emotionally charged. But at the centre of every case—whether contested or cooperative—is a child whose life is being shaped by the decisions of adults.

Whether it’s long waits, inconsistent rulings, or a lack of psychological insight into parental behaviours, the system must adapt—or risk failing a generation of children caught in the crossfire.

Until then, families like Tom’s and Tess’s will continue to fight not just for justice—but for time, love, and lost connections that may never be restored.

Related Reading:

Call Parachute Law today on 0207 183 4547

Contact us online for tailored support and advice