'Grey Divorce' Is on the Rise—And Relationship Experts Think This Is Why

It’s no secret that divorce happens, even in marriages that once seemed rock-solid. But while breakups among younger couples tend to get the spotlight, a quieter trend has emerged: grey divorce. This term refers to couples aged 50 and older choosing to end their marriages—and it’s happening more often than ever before.

In 1990, just 8.7% of divorces occurred among adults over 50. By 2019, that number had more than quadrupled to 36%, according to research published in The Journals of Gerontology and co-authored by Susan Brown, PhD, a sociology professor at Bowling Green State University.

So, what’s fueling this surge in later-in-life breakups? Experts point to several cultural and personal shifts—many of which are rooted in greater independence, longer life expectancy, and evolving relationship expectations. And while divorce at any age is emotionally challenging, doing it later in life presents a unique set of obstacles.

Here’s what’s really going on behind the trend—and how to navigate it with clarity, courage, and care.

Why Are More Couples Over 50 Getting Divorced?

The rise of grey divorce is driven by a combination of social change, longer lifespans, and shifting values. One major factor? The lingering influence of the 1970s “divorce revolution,” says Dr. Brown. During that era, divorce became more socially accepted and legally accessible, especially after the introduction of no-fault divorce laws in many Western countries.

This shift coincided with the women’s liberation movement, which radically reshaped women’s roles in relationships. Women gained access to education, entered the workforce in larger numbers, and fought for financial equality—including the right to earn, save, and manage their own money. In the UK, for instance, the passage of The Equal Pay Act 1970 played a pivotal role.

“Women have options they didn’t have before,” says Kelly Cichy, PhD, a professor of human development and family science at Kent State University. “Between paid employment and higher education levels, women can walk away from marriages that don’t serve them.”

It’s also worth noting that second marriages—common among those who previously divorced—are statistically less stable. “If you’ve already divorced once, the belief that you must stay married ‘til death do us part’ weakens,” adds Dr. Cichy.

Then there’s the matter of time. Simply put, people are living longer. For someone in their 50s or 60s, the thought of spending another 20, 30, or even 40 years in an unfulfilling marriage can be daunting. Rather than “tough it out,” many opt for a fresh start.

Women, in particular, are reconsidering what it means to be a partner in the later stages of life—especially when caregiving expectations become more pronounced. “If you're already unhappy in a marriage, the prospect of being your partner’s full-time caregiver in poor health can be overwhelming,” says Cichy.

And sometimes, the decision to separate is less about a dramatic event—like infidelity—and more about subtle, long-term drift. “People change,” says Dr. Brown. “And over time, couples may simply grow apart.”

The Unique Challenges of Grey Divorce

Divorce is never easy. But when it happens after decades together, the emotional and practical impacts can be even more profound.

“You’re not just ending a relationship—you’re reshaping an entire life you’ve built together,” says Cichy. Grey divorce is often compared to widowhood in terms of emotional grief. When you’ve been with someone for 25 or 30 years, losing that partnership—by choice or circumstance—can feel like mourning a life you once had.

Then there’s the question of recovery. Younger adults tend to bounce back from divorce within a year or two. Older adults? It often takes closer to four years, according to Brown’s research. Part of that is due to a smaller dating pool and a diminished social safety net. “There’s a lot more at stake emotionally,” she says.

Financially, grey divorce can be even trickier. Older women, especially, are at higher risk for financial insecurity. “Women generally have lower lifetime earnings and wealth accumulation,” Cichy notes. “Even today, men out-earn women, and that gap widens over time.”

One study published by Oxford University Press found that while women earned about 76% of what men did, they owned only 36% as much in assets. That’s because men often have greater access to wealth-building opportunities, while women—particularly those who left the workforce to raise children—may face economic setbacks they never recover from.

How to Cope with Grey Divorce: 4 Expert-Backed Tips

While later-in-life divorce is challenging, it also offers an opportunity for growth, reinvention, and new beginnings. Here’s how to protect your well-being and plan for the next phase of life.

1. Build Your Support System

“Social isolation is a major health risk,” says Dr. Cichy. People with strong support networks are not only more emotionally resilient, but they also live longer. Make an effort to stay connected—whether that means weekly coffee dates with friends, joining a fitness class, or attending community events.

Consider reconnecting with old friends or relatives you may have drifted from. The more you surround yourself with caring people, the less alone you’ll feel during this transition.

2. Work with a Therapist

Divorce isn’t just a legal process—it’s a deeply emotional one. Therapy can help you process grief, examine the patterns that led to your breakup, and equip you with tools to navigate future relationships.

“Therapists can support conflict management, stress relief, and help you rediscover your sense of identity,” says Cichy. They can also help you replace the positive reinforcement—encouragement, emotional feedback—you may have received from a spouse, and now need to find within yourself.

Even if you’ve never worked with a mental health professional before, this could be the right time to start.

3. Reassess Your Finances

“Finances are one of the most daunting aspects of grey divorce,” says Cichy. If you can afford it, consider working with a financial advisor to help you create a post-divorce budget, evaluate your assets, and make informed decisions about your future.

If hiring an advisor isn’t feasible, there are plenty of free or low-cost resources available online. Organizations like Citizens Advice or MoneyHelper in the UK offer budgeting tools, legal guidance, and pension planning assistance.

The goal? Make sure your next chapter is financially secure—on your own terms.

4. Plan Your Next Chapter

It’s easy to view divorce as an end, but it can also be a beginning. “This can be a beautiful time of reinvention,” says Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, founder of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching.

Instead of asking, “What have I lost?” ask, “What do I want now?” Maybe you want to travel. Maybe you want to learn a new skill, volunteer, or simply rest and recover.

Dr. Bobby recommends writing out your goals and values to clarify your direction. Don’t be afraid to dream again—this is your chance to build a life based on your needs, not someone else’s.

A Brighter Future Is Possible

Grey divorce is more common than ever—and it’s not something to be ashamed of. In fact, choosing to walk away from a relationship that no longer works, especially after years of shared history, takes immense courage.

It’s also a reminder that happiness isn’t tied to age, marital status, or past decisions. Whether you’re 30 or 70, you have every right to pursue joy, peace, and fulfillment.

As Dr. Bobby says: “This can be a scary prospect, but for some people, it can be incredibly liberating.”

The bottom line? Your story doesn’t end with divorce—it just begins a new chapter.

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